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SEVENTEEN AND STRUNG OUT ON CONFUSION [entries|friends|calendar]

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[16 Jan 2006|05:47pm]
i made a new journal, delta__blues i added some of you, so add me back please! just trying to keep it a bit more private this time around. i deleted everyone off my friends list from this one so you guys can keep your info page clean and i'm going to delete this one in a few days. thanks :)

2 | smack my bitch up

[01 Dec 2005|04:59pm]
yay i had my riding lesson last night! it was so much fun, it seriously felt so good to be back in the saddle.. it felt RIGHT. i am in so much pain today though, good god. gonna take a bit to get my riding muscles back. i rode a big thorobred/quarter horse named jim. tim came and watched, but i felt so bad becuase it was sooo cold.. haha he was so funny. at first, he was afraid to touch jim, then i made him pet him, and then i had to go in the office to sign some papers so tim had to hold him and jim kept headbutting his shoulder cause he wanted to be pet and tim was just scared shitless. good times :)

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3 | smack my bitch up

[24 Nov 2005|12:35am]
everybvody in the club gettin TIPSAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!

smack my bitch up

YAY :) [12 Nov 2005|07:24pm]
i got a new digital camera!! i'm so happy.. i've been totally lost since mine got stolen. still trying to figure out how to work it but i definately like it better than my old one, much more advanced. anyway here are some pictures i just snapped to test it out, enjoy!

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1 | smack my bitch up

yayyayayayay [05 Oct 2005|04:35pm]
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

i bought a car tonight!! it's a 2002 Toyota Celica GT in Spectra Blue.. 5spd, power windows, power locks, air conditioning, sunroof, cd player.. EXDACTLY what i want and have been looking for, i'm in LOVE <3
1 | smack my bitch up

[24 May 2005|01:17am]
the last two mornings i've woke up next to tim, so my weekend was pretty awesome. i was really sick last night i couldn't sleep, and tim took care of me, it was so sweet.. he got me advil and water and would rub my back to try and help me sleep, then in the morning he got up and went to tim hortons and got me a hot drink to help my throat, it was the sweetest thing.

and now it's back to the daily grind tomorrow.. which isn't all that bad cause i like my job, i just hate going back to sleeping alone in my bed all week after spending the last two nights with tim. i feel like one of those obsessed girls talking about my boyfriend so much, but more than ever lately i just can't stop thinking about him. i've never felt this close to him before.. i've never felt this close to ANYONE before. it's such an amazing feeling.. i've had my share of boyfriends but i never felt a fraction for them of what i feel for tim. the best way i can think of to describe it is the other guys were people i could live with, which is fine.. but tim is the person i can't live without.

i think this entry makes me seem like i don't have a life, which i do.. but unfortunately i'm too tired to write about it so i'm off to bed!
2 | smack my bitch up

[10 May 2005|08:39pm]

that will be all.
1 | smack my bitch up

[21 Apr 2005|09:01am]
ugh i have to go to school this morning and i REALLY don't want to.. i just hate going cause i have to go to work right after until 8. gayness.

thank god tomorrow is friday. i'm excited for the weekend, on friday i'm going out with my friends from my old work, hanging out with steve and mike on saturday, and i think on sunday me and tim are going to this carnival in town. i finally get to spend the night with tim again on saturday i can't wait.. my bed feels so empty and i can never sleep well. i sleep so soundly when i'm with tim, and waking up to him putting his arms around me is seriously the best feeling in the world. aw now i miss him.. i only got to see him yesterday on my lunch break at work and his break at work. i feel like a loser but no amount of time i spend with tim is ever too much, cause no matter what when i'm not with him i'm thinking about him and when i'm going to see him next. he's coming to visit me on my lunch break so that's cool :)

anyway i'm gonna go wash my car before work so ciao
smack my bitch up

[20 Mar 2005|11:22am]
wow things with tim and i are kind of messed up right now. a lot of drama has happened in the past week. we had a HUGE blow out wednesday-thursday which sucked.. two nights in a row of being up until 2-3 in the morning yelling and crying on the phone when i had to get up at 6:30 for work.. anyway we finally made up on friday and everything was fine until last night/this morning.. fuck. i hate it. i hate fighting with someone i love. speaking of which, i said something very stupid this morning when tim was on his way to work.. and now tim wants to talk after work, and he usually plays hockey after work on sunday's but now he's not going anymore becuase he wants to talk to me and he never EVER misses hockey so now this is a huge deal and holy crappers i just don't want to talk about it. jesus h.

anywho. my new job is good. i quit save-on and it was really kinda sad but this job is so much better. and now i get to finance a BRAND NEW car in a couple months cause i can afford it! shit yeah. as much as i adore my car lets face it it's a death trap haha and i want to drive to a bunch of places up country this summer and i want to do it in a car that isn't going to catch on fire or something.

anyway i'm going to go shower and go to the mall cause well i have a shopping problem but what else is new right?
smack my bitch up

[10 Mar 2005|01:09am]
[ mood | lazy ]

i don't know why but tonight i looked up a bunch of horse communities on lj. i've been looking at pictures and reading people's stories, and it's bringing tears to my eyes and my heart literally aches.. it's bringing back memories of feeling so content and just.. complete when i was around horses. i could seriously spend all friggin day hanging around the barn, grooming horses, feeding them, cleaning, anything. i was so awkward as a kid too.. tall and lanky and i always thought i was pretty goofy looking, but when i was on a horse i looked so graceful and i felt beautiful.. god i can't even describe it.. it was just such a passion, and i miss it like crazy. i miss my old pony cali. i think in a few months once i've made some money at my new job i'm going to sign up for riding lessons again.. just once a week, maybe sundays or something. i just HAVE to be around horses again.. i think that's what i've been missing over the last couple years.. i never really thought of it this way before, but ever since i quit riding when i was 15.. i never felt really whole. i mean sure i was happy and had a great life and all that but i honestly can't even explain how i feel around horses, it's my escape, it's the one thing i can do and everything else will just leave my mind and nothing else matters except me and my horse.

and in other news i just won an award for the most boring thing ever written on livejournal. i needed to get it off my chest though.

anyway.. today was 1 month for me and tim. everyone in his house was going to be out today until about 6pm so we were going to just spend the day together fooling around ;) then we were going to dinner together then just cuddle and watch movies the rest of the night. nothing special but it sounded sooo nice.. unfortunately that plan got shot down cause about a half hour after i arrived his friend colin unexpectedly dropped by and invited himself in.. and tim didn't want to be like COLIN GO AWAY WE WANT TO BE ALONE.. which is understandable because kicking someone out is so awkward. but yeah, he stayed for like 3 hours.. wouldnt stop talking while we were watching ladder 49, then insisted on going to A&W to eat so that kinda screwed over our making dinner plans. we finally got rid of him then jordan wouldn't stop calling, tim and i started bitching at eachother, daryl (who's kind of a touchy subject with tim and i)called my cell and asked me to go to dinner tomorrow with save on people.. then finally james and joe got home and wanted to hang out and we finally just gave up on our special day. it's like every important event with us is cursed with gay events like valentines day where we hung out with jordan. haha.

1 | smack my bitch up

[08 Mar 2005|01:47pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

big fight with tim yesterday. he just called me and we're getting together in a bit. i don't know i just don't really feel like seeing him right now. well, i WANT to see him and i'm not mad or anything.. i don't know i guess i'm still just upset about it. or something? who knows i just wish it never happened.

in other news i had really fun day with my friends yesterday, i hadn't hung out with them for a while. me, steve, rob, and nic watched i heart huckabees, then mike came over and we went to mcdonalds and laughed the whole time.. mike did his usual screaming at every pedestrian on the way home thing, then later on me and steve went to see the pacifier. which you probably think looks crappy but i swear to you it was halarius.. it was one of those movies that ONLY me and steve want to see and ONLY me and steve think is funny.. we're cool.

i washed the HELL out of my car yesterday.. seriously i INVENTED new places that could be cleaned. i scrubbed down every inch of the interrior and put armour-all on it, i cleaned my wheels with a toothbrush, i even cleaned inside the seals of my trunk, inside the door jams, EVERYWHERE. i was going to wax it today but it's raining.. and i didn't get a chance to vaccume it yesterday so i think i'm going to do that tomorrow.

anyway i better go shower and stuff since i'm supposed to get together with tim soon.

smack my bitch up

[05 Mar 2005|03:10am]
I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
smack my bitch up

[17 Feb 2005|07:32pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

hooboy my brother's getting in shit cause his report card sucks and he's failing half his classes.. i feel bad for him but it makes me appreciate being out of high school even more cause having no homework and no curfew is where it's at.

today has been pretty chill. rolled out of bed around noon, did some laundry, worked out, had a shower, then watched 7th heaven and read my new cosmo. tim called around 3 and i went to his house, then we went to mcdonalds where i ate back all the calories i burned working out haha, then went to the mall. my ex drew and his girlfriend were there, i didn't talk to him, only said hi cause i think his girlfriend hates me haha. we stopped at my work so i could check my schedule and it turns out i don't have to work til TUESDAY. they'll probably try and get me to come in before that but i'm not answering my phone becuase i hate that place more than.. i dunno i can't think of anything extreme enough to compare it to i'll just say i'm on the verge of suffering rage blackouts every time i'm there.

oh man my car fucking pissed me off today though.. it used to ALWAYS do this thing where it wouldn't start, and i'd have to get someone to turn the key while i got under the hood and knocked the starter with a wrench. anyway so eventually it just completely broke down and i had to pay $500 for a new alternator cause apparently that was the problem.. that was in september and it hasn't done anything bad since then except today when i was leaving my work i had to hit the starter. WTF?!! i don't know what's wrong with it.. cause i have a new starter, a new alternator, and a new fuel pump/injector.. so it damn well SHOULDN'T be any of those.. sooo hopefully that was just a fluke and it won't happen again but i'm worried, i'm currently $900 in debt with previous car bills and i don't need to rack up another. piece of SHIT.

my bitches are coming over to watch the oc, which is pretty soon now i guess. i wanna run to the store and get some snackos but if i do that they'll probably all show up when i'm gone and they'll have to feel all awkward hanging out with my parents. anyway my mom just made dinner so i think i'm gonna go grab a quick bite before everyone gets here so i'm outtie.

smack my bitch up

TGIF :) [04 Feb 2005|06:35am]
[ mood | barely functioning ]

good lord work totally wore me out this week. probably because i'm a moron and stay out so late every night that i only end up getting 4 hours of sleep for a 7 hour shift. just thank god it's friday. and thank god for coffee.. haha. i'm taking a regional managment course at work starting in may, which is pretty sweet because once i complete that i'm eligible to apply for management positions and make $22 an hour which is sweet chicken :)

if i don't fall asleep during my shift and end up slicing my hand off, i'm going to my grandparents after work.. going shopping with my grandma then probably staying for dinner and stuff. then after that hopefully hanging out with my STEVEY POO because i miss him like crazy. on saturday i'm supposed to be going for a hike with steve, mike, and rob.. but i dunno about that now because this week just exhausted me. also the fact that it's absolutely pissing down rain and knowing me i'd probably slip and fall off the mountain never to be seen again.

anywho it's 6:45 now so i'm off to work!

smack my bitch up

blah [03 Feb 2005|12:18am]
[ mood | my vibe has been harshed ]

my brakes are on fire
from trying to slow down
i'm always burning my tires
and my horn is to loud
i catch people staring looking funny at me
when i step to the window and i toss a tv
sometimes i get crazy and it makes a big scene
But when i hit 21 i wanna stand up and scream
i'm filthy rich with laughter
i'm too big for the room
you know from two stories up
a zenith makes a big boom

it's hard to get around in a six foot town
when your ten feet tall everything is so small
i'm always bumping my head
i'm way to long for the bed
it's hard to get around
in a six foot town

smack my bitch up

i hate work [24 Jan 2005|07:51pm]
[ mood | jealous ]

working 6 days in a row sucks.. today was the fourth consecutive day i've had to wake up against my own will and i'm sorry but 6am just isn't in my dictionary man.. i can never fall asleep early enough to get more than 4 hours sleep, so i'm a zombie at work, then fall asleep unintentionally in the evening, wake up around 9 and i'm wide awake all night while i should be SLEEPING. blah. tomorrow i don't work til 6 at night but of course the first night i don't have to get up early the next morning i have nothing to do. stupid murphy and his law.

this afternoon was fun.. james met me after work and we went out for lunch, then went to his work (a car dealership) and he washed my car for me! then on the way home we went to another dealership so he could test drive this camaro, it was so cool but i'd be too scared to ever drive something that huge.. i like my litte jap car thanks. haha. ummm yeah then james went to a movie with tim, jordan, and joe.. i didn't go for obvious reasons and now i'm in a shitty mood.. whatever though.

but anyway i have to go watch 7th heaven because it's finally a new one and LUCY IS GOING TO HAVE THE BABY haha stfu ive been watching this show for like 5 years its exciting.

ps i hate work.

smack my bitch up

[19 Jan 2005|12:46am]
[ mood | i'm an asshole ]

grr i wish i didn't overreact so much tonight.. i need to stop and THINK before i do/say things, and i'd only need to stop and think for about half a second to realize that what i'm about to do is retarded but i'm so volitile when i'm upset i just flip out. blah.

anyway so i have my car back.. they repaired the window today, and i have an appointment to get my new cd player installed on friday. not that i have any cds to listen to since they all got fuckin STOLEN but still i'm not enjoying the gaping hole where my stereo is supposed to be. ooh and i get a better model than the one i had that got stolen for no extra money. diamond stereo installs for free so the guy just said i could take that $40 my insurnace gave me for installation and put it towards a better one.

i decided to spend money i don't have by getting my hair done tommorrow, because i can't stand this color any longer becuase when i'm being kind when i say it's absolutely freaking hideous. haha :/ anyway i'm gonna go sleep off this bad mood becuase i'm getting upset all over again.


smack my bitch up

[18 Jan 2005|02:04am]
[ mood | content ]

today was pretty good. i rolled out of bed at the crack of noon, lazed around a bit and went out for lunch with steve and rob. then i had to take my car to ICBC to get a damage estimate from the break-in, and the damage and theft is covered by my insurance so i get a new window and cd player tomorrow which is a good thing, cause driving around with a garbage bag for a window in january kinda sucks. after my appointment i borrowed mike's shop vac to vaccume up the layer of broken glass that was coating my car becuase i really didn't relish the idea of picking up every one of those little bits with my hands.

then tonight i went to see white noise with michelle and rosie and oh my god that movie scared the shit out of me.. nobody else thought it was that scary but holy shit i just about died haha. after the movie i went to tim's for a bit but i left early with intentions of going to bed right away because i have work tomorrow morning.. but it's now past 2am so i think it's time for me to go to bed like NOW.

ciao bellas

2 | smack my bitch up

[17 Dec 2004|12:22am]
[ mood | cranky ]

apparently there's a crack in my stupid radiator.. if my grandpa can't patch it then i have to pay like 500 freaking dollars for a new one which would totally lick balls because then this whole endavour would end up costing me a grand. and that's on top of the $700 i still owe for other shit with this car. shit son.

today was alright.. i woke up pretty early and i didn't have to work til 3 so i gave steve a call and he and i hung out. we went for lunch and reminisced of old times, like the time i ran over his foot.. HAH i still laugh every time i think of that. anyway then we went to my house and watched 7th heaven and i had to go to work. work was ok, daryl was there and came over to talk to me like always.. then i think he kept catching me staring at him haha oh well. my mom picked me up from work and we stopped at the store on the way home so i could get some healthy food, then tim and steve came over to watch the oc, YAY. it's not going to be back on until january though which makes me very sad for i have no shows to watch right now cause america's next top model is over, and everwood and 7th heaven aren't back on until january as well.. woe is me.

tomorrow is my last day of work for the week then i have the whole weekend off! granted i don't get called in on sunday, which is more than likely. stupid call-ins. i'm really dreading my shift tomorrow though, becuase i have to get up early and take the bus and work with boring people and only get one break. ew. i can't wait until tomorrow at 6pm then i'm free until 7am monday :)

xoxo j e s s i e

1 | smack my bitch up

[12 Dec 2004|12:29am]
[ mood | enthusiastic ]

sweet so my car isn't totalled afterall, AND the best part is that my grandpa used to own a body shop and is going to repair it for free, all i have to pay for is the parts (a new hood, front panel, headlight).. it'll end up running me about $500 but in an actual shop it would've cost around $2500.. which is basically as much as my car is worth. so yeah i'm super happy about that :)

other than that the rest of today was pretty good too. i got up and went for a run before work which is really quite an accomplishment for me. i wrote down all my measurements on a piece of paper today and i'm going to work out and eat better every day until the end of the month and see if there's a difference, hopefully there is cause i'm getting to be quite the little fatty as of late :S work was good today.. it was nice to be back after 5 days off and see all my work friends, as lame as it sounds i miss that place when i'm gone lol. steve, mike, and rob picked me up from work at 8 and we chilled at my house then went to the porn store cause mike was buying steve porn for christmas. i was supposed to go out and party tonight but my neck is kind of off from my little accident yesterday and it was giving me a massive headache so i came home around 10 and made a couple cds.

anyway i should go to bed now.. i've gotta get up early tomorrow and go for a run then drive out to my grandparents so my grandpa can start on my car, yay!

smack my bitch up

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